In this video, a former addict shares his subjective experiences with lean AKA “Sizzurp” and “Purple Drank.”
What’s up guys is cg kids so in this video i’m gonna share with you my subjective experiences with lean for those new to my channel i am a recovering poly addict i have five and a half years of sobriety i share my subjective experiences of both addiction and recovery to further educate the general public and to give addicts and their loved ones hope that sobriety
Is possible now to start off this video before i’d really get into the effects of lean i want to say how i got introduced to it and what motivated me to start it and a lot of it was the music scene you know i think as a young person that processes decision making differently than an adult i really looked up to artists you know i looked up to particularly rappers
And it’s like i wanted to be more like them not just with substances but in a lot of endeavors you know i wanted to be it’s really hard to describe it other than that i feel like they had a lot of influence on me when i was younger influenced that they don’t have now now i can listen to an artist and appreciate their art but not necessarily want to be like them
Like i’m happy with who i am but back then i was easily influenced by music and it seemed like my surroundings were too so i wasn’t just the only kid that was influenced by that but my peers were as well so lean was kind of like glamorized and glorified by this music to all these young people and everybody around me saw it as a cool thing you know i thought that
You know drinking lean was superior to taking vicodin pills it was somehow is more proud to say like i’m sipping on lean so and if i told somebody that i thought that made me cooler now as a kid and this is what’s dangerous that that kind of stuff is not cool like as an adult that thinks logically i realized i don’t have to put myself that danger to be cool if i
Care so much about what other people think that i’m willing to do an addictive substance that can cause fatality or bad reactions if i care that much about being cool to me i see that is not a good thing you know i see that as unhealthy behavior not necessarily a cool thing as in adults but as a kid things were different so i sought out lean and you know there
Was a lot of demand for it not a lot of supply it’s prescribed by doctors for people that have trouble swallowing or it had dental work so it’s not prescribed too often and there’s all this demand because it’s so glue horrified by the music industry so the main way i got it wasn’t really through dealers it was through medicine cabinets and there was two different
Types of lean that i experimented with one was coating with promethazine which really didn’t do much of anything to me that is subjective you know i’m not sensitive to codeine that could just be me and then there was tussin x which was hydrocodone with the antihistamine and since codeine really didn’t do anything for me light buzzing i’m really gonna be discussing
Tussin x the hydrocodone and the hana histamine and i’m gonna go over the lower dose effects before i go into the high dose because i feel like they’re totally different realms so the low dose effects of tussin x or lean as many call it is you know itching of the face and it’s a really good feeling it’s really hard to describe but some that actually the first time i
Felt it i didn’t really enjoy it i saw it as like an annoyance but the more i kept taking it the more i learned to have a taste for it or like a sweet tooth for it and the itch would move it wasn’t one of those annoying itches where you scratch it and it comes back worse you scratch it it feels good and then it kind of shifts location so i’d scratch it on my left
Arm then i feel out on my right arm scratch it now i’m feeling it on my nose and it was one of those things i learned to enjoy another thing was irritability and being just really over hyped about everything it really didn’t have that much direction to me whether it was positive or negative so i could get like really hyped up about a song and be really into it and
Really hyped up about what i’m doing and then i could be really hyped up in an argument as well it really seemed to not have that much direction it was just this raw stimulation effect that felt like it really didn’t have i don’t know if directions the right word but it just felt like it wasn’t always positive sometimes it was anger that was being hyped up but i
Enjoyed being height up again that was a learned taste the final side effect was nausea and that something i just didn’t like but the more i took the substance the more the nausea subsided especially as my tolerance got higher so the effects of lean and what it felt like for me it’s like any other opiate there really is nothing special about it but we’ll go over
That once again so for me it’s like a very warm euphoric feeling deep down it’s a feeling of always bring this up because i think it’s so accurate it’s really that feeling of it’s a cold day it’s raining outside you have the fireplace on you’re snuggling with somebody like a chick or whatever and that feeling of just comfort and you know that’s normal to feel in
Those situations but whenever i drank lean it would be i’m sitting here and i’m feeling that comfort deep down it’s this very warm euphoria that to me it was a little hard to describe but i found it across all opiates not just with lean it’s just this really snuggly warm comforting feeling and then things are brighter like things outdoors look a lot brighter and
Like i said before that kind of reminds me of the mdma experience but a very subtle form and not as amped up is of course mdma is but it’s like the world would be brighter and it would just things would feel like they made more sense things seemed a little less important and i remember having h to take more and more lean that’s the thing about it is whatever i’m
Feeling it’s subtle it’s too subtle so i always want to take more and it’s like that itch that i have in my nose is really an itch to take more deep down in my mind and i would take more and i’d get into the high doses and that’s where lean got dangerous because for many alike i think there’s a difference of perception so with like pills when i hold a handful of
Pills and i think about taking them all i look at it and i’m like that’s something you would never do like that looks dangerous to me whereas when i see a bottle of liquid and i imagine drinking it all for some reason that doesn’t feel as dangerous even though it’s just as dangerous as that handful of pills so you take that combined with this itch to use more and
You can very easily reach like fatal doses and for me these high doses were extremely dangerous but what they felt like was nodding in and out of consciousness into these very very vivid beautiful dreams you know it would whenever like i would i would duck my head down and close my eyes i would start to feel like i was in this that was different than any dream i
Had because it was almost like i’m melted into the experience of the dream and i just felt like this ease and comfort and everything was super realistic and vivid and understandable and i would think that the whole dream made sense and it was like a new underlying fabric of reality i remember having dreams of like being in egypt of pyramids and all kinds of weird
Stuff and then i would snap out of it and that’s when i would lift my head from the not out and i’d realize that took a substance and i can return to this dream state and that have like five seconds of that where i’m like in waking consciousness and then i nod out and go back into this dream space where it felt like like all my worries and everything just left me
Like nothing was important and these were very dangerous doses to go into and part of me when i woke up in waking consciousness knew that this probably wasn’t a good thing that this could be dangerous and the problem was like reaching out for help just didn’t seem that important to me like my life didn’t seem that important when i was in the state now i did care
If i lived or didn’t live and when i took these substances i was intimidated before i took them and i did have worried and if i saw myself nodding out every five seconds in a sober mind i would say that’s not good maybe he needs medical attention but whenever i’m in it it’s like my perception completely changes you know the substance gave me this it should take
More i’m at this level that’s dangerous but who really cares you know i’m just gonna fade out and come back to over and over again so that’s led to a lot of dangerous experiences with lene there was one time where i actually managed to blackout and wake up in my car on the way to get heroin with a friend driving and i didn’t even know how i got there so i have had
Blackouts from lean and no other opiate which i the only thing unique i could really attribute to the experience and yeah the opiates in general including lean really have not that much recreational value to me to me it’s really fleeting it’s not really something i got into it was uh if anything it was more of a social status thing thinking that opiates are cool
They’re hard to come by and i have a sweet tooth for them but in reality there was never really great experiences that i could share on them even when i talk about this euphoria in this dream space and this could just be subjective to me this could be how i’m wired it wasn’t worth the risk at all of course not i mean there’s no way his work the risk of being on
The edge of an overdose for this feeling that’s fleeting and also these the good feelings from opiates are extremely temporary the tolerance builds very rapidly so like with lean if i kept taking it and kept taking it it took more and more to do the same thing and it got expensive or it got harder to find so at that point it’s like physical dependency now i’m
Taking lean just to feel normal and at that point is when stuff gets like really dangerous for me because if i don’t have lean in my system my bones will feel like they’re aching almost like growing pains and it’s relentless i’ll get shake so i’ll watch my hand literally start to vibrate from opiates nausea i’ll be vomiting everywhere i can’t eat anything i can’t
Manage to get anything down the thought of food is just disturbing to me and i can’t sleep and i’m literally anxiety attacks constantly it was it was just like this unrealistic waves of anxiety that would just overcome me for no reason and there was really no way to get out of it because like i said i couldn’t sleep it off if i managed to sleep it would be very
Temporary i would have these really creepy dreams and i would wake up covered and drenched in sweat feeling really gross and forced to lay there and stare at the ceiling for another eight hours until i can manage to get another minute of horrific sleep that isn’t satisfying or anything so i use lean to us to not be sick at a point and when you’re using lean to not
Be sick i caused a lot of emotional turmoil with my family because whenever i’m at that point it’s like i will do anything to get the substance where they have to go around you above you or through you that meant a lot of like deceit and a lot of just really bad things that it’s done to my relationships and all of it was just to avoid 6oh and when i got my hands
On the lien it wasn’t like i felt good from it i just felt normal and i didn’t have to go through the sickness again so i hope this video i hope this video was educational to you guys i hope you learned something from it sobriety is possible and i stream on instagram regularly so feel free to follow me on there for questions or contact me on shameless protocol ,
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Transcribed from video
What's Lean Like? The Codeine / Hydrocodone Based Opiate Drink | My Subjective Experience By Cg Kid
