Hope this is helpful!!
Hello so today i am here to film milah tuna update i don’t know how long it’s been i’ll put it in the title but it’s been quite a few months so sitting on a bag so um i thought i’d film an update for you um honestly i feel quite a bit different um i feel a lot more even probably to even i would say i feel probably too mellow if that’s even a thing um i feel almost
Callous at this point like i don’t really have any emotion at all um like it’s made me so that i’d like almost don’t have a heartbeat like it’s it’s hard especially in my job that i do i deal with a lot of emotions on a daily basis like people with emotions and i can’t reciprocate that so like people are having a lot of stressful situations like i work in the
Medical field and it’s stressful and it’s hard and it’s a lot of like feelings and death and a lot of things like that and i don’t reciprocate that like people will be in face of death and i don’t feel anything about it um and it’s making me feel almost like sociopathic in a way like because i literally just don’t feel anything about it um like it’s i can recognize
That it’s sad and i recognize that like other people are sad but i don’t feel sad and i don’t feel those things and i don’t feel anything for them um so the empathy portion of my life is completely gone whereas before i was too empathetic and i was too emotional when i was – like all over the place and now it’s like that is just completely gone so the only thing
That’s different is the medication so i don’t know if that is because of the medicine or what but that’s the only thing that’s changed nothing else has changed um there’s been a lot of stress recently i feel like i’ve dealt with that pretty well i’m able to handle a lot of things at once without getting super overwhelmed which was a big big problem for me before i
Work in a very high-stress job so i’m able to deal with my job and not like take it home at the end of the day um whereas before like i would be a mess about every little thing and i was just so all over the place so that’s good um but yeah if anything i just feel flat um i don’t really have a lot of emotion i don’t really have a lot of happiness anger joy i just
Kind of feel flat which i’m going to have a doctor’s appointment at the end of the month and i’m gonna talk to her about that because right now i’m on the 40 milligrams of letona which i feel like is working if this is how it’s supposed to work i don’t know if this is how it’s supposed to work i don’t know if i’m supposed to be this way so i don’t know my dog is
Right there i don’t know if i’m supposed to be devoid of all emotion or feelings but that’s how i am i just literally don’t have any left so my patience is a lot less prevalent like i don’t have a lot of patience for people i don’t have a lot of sympathy or empathy for people um like somebody could be telling me their whole life story and their sob story and it
Could be like so it could touch somebody like oh that’s so sad for them and i’d be like okay but that doesn’t impact me and i don’t really care like and i just have never been that kind of person before like ever i i was always like oh you know and so caring and so empathetic and now it’s just total opposite so it’s weird and i don’t know um so yeah that’s really
The only thing that’s majorly different like i said i don’t know if that’s the medication or if i’m just involving into a non caring human being but it’s really odd and i don’t know how to feel about it um other than that the only thing else that i’m noticing with this medication is some weight gain i’ve gained about 30 pounds since i’ve started it i don’t want to
Say that it’s all the medications fault because when i started the medication i was really depressed and i was my diet consisted of cigarettes and dr pepper and i basically didn’t eat anything at all and i would maybe eat like one meal every other day um so then when i kind of started with medication and started eating and then i felt better and then i would start
Treating myself and eating more food then i started gaining the weight so it’s not like a rapid weight gain like it happened over time and it happened because i’m eating bad foods so it’s i don’t think the medication is to blame so if you’re worried about gaining weight on this medication i wouldn’t necessarily say that it’s happened because of the medication i
Just think that i have habits that are bad for weight gain and i’ve struggled with weight my whole life so it’s not like something that’s new to me um other than that the other thing that i’ve noticed is that i completely have no motivation to do anything like i have to let’s say i have to leave for work at noon i will sleep until noon and i will get out of bed
At the last possible second and throw my clothes on and go out the door like if i have to leave at noon i’ll get out of bed at noon and just like figure it out and be late because i literally like can’t get myself up um and i love my job and everything like it’s not like that i hate my job it’s just i don’t want to do it like i do i would rather stay in bed i’ve
Also been going to sleep later and i just want to sleep all the time so um motivation is a big thing i just i’m not feeling it it’s not feeling it lately um so yeah so those are the main things probably the emotional or lack of emotion and then the weight which and then the lack of motivation so that’s kind of where i’m at right now other than that i feel great
I’m interacting with others really well which is always been a struggle for me and i feel like i’m doing that really well the whole need out of a job well and doing great otherwise so ya know suicidal thoughts really so i think this medication is doing what it’s supposed to do it’s just the lack of emotions part that’s really tripping me out cuz i don’t know what
That’s about so yeah it’s just weird so anyway um leave me any comments that you would like i like responding to them it makes me happy um if you have any questions about this medication or anything i’m not a doctor but i do have my own personal experiences so i’m gonna see if i can try and raise my dose i feel like maybe i’ve just outgrown this dose or maybe i
Need to lower it again i really don’t know so honestly i’m gonna talk to my doctor and see what she thinks i don’t know if anybody else has ever experienced these type of symptoms when they’ve been on this medication but in a lot of brain fog uh has happened as well like a lot my brain just feels like information is there but it just won’t come out it’s really
Weird so yeah that’s pretty much it hope you guys are having a good day and i’ll talk to you later
Transcribed from video
Latuda For Bipolar II: 6 Month Update By CelticPunk
